SO YOU WANT to LIVE in COSTA RICA the Adventures, Trials and Tribulations of Settling in Paradise

22 Dec

This is the continuation of a series of blogs to promote the e-book SO YOU WANT to LIVE in COSTA RICA – which is a guide to… the Adventures, Trials and Tribulations of Settling in Paradise… This is a guide book that will give you the kind of insider’s knowledge that you might wish you had before you made your decision to move or not move to Costa Rica.

Every blog entry will start with the appendix because that way when you read whatever else I have posted it will 1. make sense (I hope) and 2. give you a point of reference in case you realize you need to read something that is “archived”.  Because if you read every blog I enter you will have eventually read the whole e-book and won’t need to order it for $2.99 from Amazon or B&N.  All you’ll be missing are the photos that show what you might expect if you choose to undertake the Adventures, Trials and Tribulations of Settling in Paradise.

As I said, I will start each blog with the appendix so that the reader can reference important elements of the book to archived blogs.  The page numbers shown are the actual page they appear on in the book. Here is the Appendix – and these are all the nuggets and their corresponding page numbers: Definition of “nugget” – 3, Doors & Windows – 7, Manufacturing – 11, Real Estate – 11, Shipping – 12,Maps, – 15, Corporations – 20, Traffic Cops – 23, Know basic Spanish – 30, Panama – 33, Roof Line – 42, Plumita Pacifica Web Address – 65, Getting the Best a Tico has to Offer – 84, Power Surges – 86, Liberia Airport – 88, Attitude – 104, Cellular Phones – 117, Newspapers – 18, Your Embassy – 137, Buying & Selling Cars – 154, Drive Slowly – 161, Arriving at the Airport – 168, Wages & Prices – 170, Undertows – 226, Life Ring – 230, Avoiding Customs Confiscations – 234, Driving Rules – 236, Walking in the City – 249, Purchasing Anything – 258, Buying Fresh Produce – 263, Bus Tickets – 272, to “Bribe” or not to “Bribe” – 313, Traffic ticket Prices – 315, Exiting the Country – 337

chapter 9 continued

So this guy examines my papers and finally says “OK, you can pay”.  By the way, I must admit I was impressed with the fact that even though there are no address’s in C.R., he pulls out this map showing in good detail all the roads and the beach in the area where I live, and pinpoints my location.    My “official” address is 500 meters north of bar Playa Junquillal but now it is also 200 meters west of the main road.  It has, since I began recording this experience, been changed to “200 meters west of hotel Castillo Divertido” (translation: Fun Castle) which is not quite as accurate but seems to work better.   But now we have an actual point on the map where the lines intersect.   However, they don’t give the map to their installers so they can find you (more on that later).

OK, so now I can pay.  I pull out my money and he say’s “no, you have to pay at… and describes the location.   No address’s, remember?  But with my weak Spanish all I get is he keeps saying the word rojo (red) as I request that he repeat himself slowly several times.   Finally, I’m too embarrassed to make him repeat himself again, so I pretend like I get it and leave.   Now, he was indicating that whatever it was that is red isn’t very far away so I figure if I just go out and look I’ll see something red and go there and pay.   I look up and down the street and the only thing red I see is a store in the next block that has a red awning but it’s a shoe store.   I wander around for awhile and finally give in to the fact that whatever it is that is red I just don’t see.   So I go back to the office and the security guard (I’m beginning to understand, at this point, why they need one) takes pity on me and walks me outside to point at the two little steps across the street that are painted red.   I swear, these two little steps are only about two feet wide.

And they lead to a tiny little window on the other side of which is a bored looking person just waiting to take your money.   I pay thinking I’m done.

Nope, the bored person tells me I have to take the receipt back to the ICE office to complete the transaction.   Oh my god, another wait in line (for sure they need a security guard).


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